


Jeff Bezos x Minecraft Steve: forbidden love

by azcaiski



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Real Person Fiction, amazon?
Genre: !!! EMOTIONA L !!!, Everyone Is Gay, I hate tagging, Jeff Bezos is really insistent on the fact that he is not gay, Jeff bezos destroys the world, M/M, No Smut, Steve is kind of a Yandere idk, actually he IS a yandere, i hate this, i have no idea what to rate this, the ending is the best piece of literature ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:20:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29751219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azcaiski/pseuds/azcaiski
Summary: another fic I found in my google drive that I want to burn in the eighth circle of hellENDGAME IS JEFF X STEVE
Relationships: Steve (Minecraft)/Jeff Bezos, one sided Jeff Bezos/Cardboard Box
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	Jeff Bezos x Minecraft Steve: forbidden love

**Author's Note:**

> I cried after writing this

Jeff Bezos had been feeling quite lonely in his gazillion dollar mansion, so he had left into the public to walk around. He suddenly had the idea to use his millions upon millions of dollars worth of money to not do something good for once, but to buy himself a lover. A girlfriend. Because he (as self-proclaimed) ‘was not gay.’  
He soon reached a UPS store. “Wow, a package store for poor people. Maybe I could buy a GIRLFRIEND OR A SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHO IDENTIFIES AS A FEMALE here.”  
He pushed the door open.

“Hello, sir, how can I help you?” A man, a UPS employee (should I mention this was secretly fortnite Tyler ninja Blevins in disguise), walked up to Jeff.  
“Girlfriend. Because I’m not gay. Deliver me a girlfriend. Or, I don’t know, give me a cute GIRL, FEMALE, WOMAN, employee who works here.” Jeff said.  
“This isn’t the store for that, sir. Go on the dark web. Or Craigslist if it even still exists. You can probably buy a girlfriend there.”  
“Buy?” Jeff asked.  
“Hm? Yes, you can buy one, I assume...” Jeff suddenly interrupted him.“That box.”  
“What box?” “That one.” Jeff didn’t want to admit it, but he was losing his breath, staring at that box. The smooth sides, the sharp corners, the color.  
“This one?” The employee picked up the box. “Don’t touch it!” Jeff leaped out and knocked the box out of the employee’s hands, then quickly picked it up and stroked it. “I’m so sorry for you having to land on the floor like that,” he whispered to the box.

Jeff Bezos looked up, his eyes sparkling. “This box. I want it.”  
“Oh? Well, I’m sorry, that box is meant to be delivered to someone. I need it back.”  
Jeff felt tears welling up in his eyes. “No...no! Don’t take me from the box! We just met, it can’t leave me yet!” The employee slowly approached Jeff and picked up around the box. Jeff fell to the floor, sobbing. “Box! Please!”  
The employee had almost left the room when Jeff jumped up in sudden determination. “Who is the box being sent to?”  
"Minecraft Steve.”  
“NOOOOOOOOO!" Jeff couldn’t help falling to the floor again. He cupped his face in his hands before screaming in anguish. “Box! Either me, or Steve! Choose!”  
The box did not respond, as it is an immoble object that can’t talk.

He hurried home, tears falling down his cheeks. He finished wiping them off by the time he reached his home.  
Jeff stumbled into his house. “SERVANTS! Gimme Minecraft Steve’s address.”  
A maid walked up to him and smiled. “He lives in Minecraft.”

Jeff sighed. "then I will teleport there because I am Jeff Bezos, the non-gay billionaire who can do anything."  
Jeff Bezos was silent for a moment. He felt his inner power pulsating inside him before seeing a searing brightness in front of his eyes. He threw his hands in the air and screamed, “to Minecraft!”  
Then he vanished in a flash of light.  
He awoke in a field of grass. He shook his head and sniffed, looking around. “Hm, I made it."

He noticed a house in front of him. Jeff decided to knock on its door, just to get a map of the place or some kind of direction.  
But to his surprise, he didn’t even need it. The person who opened the door was his rival lover and archenemy: MINECRAFT STEVE.  
Steve raised his eyebrow at the man standing outside his door. “Do you want something from me?”

“Has the UPS come around here by any chance?” Jeff said, holding back the urge to dropkick Steve right then and there.  
“Yes, earlier. But why is that your problem? I’ve never met you.”  
Jeff breathed in deeply before staring straight into Steve’s eyes. “Give me the boxes you got.”  
“Why?”

Jeff didn’t listen, he simply pushed past Steve and into the house. “Box!” he yelled as he entered. “I’ve come to save you from the hands of this bastard!”  
“Who are you calling a bastard?” Steve ran behind Jeff, trying to catch him. “Stop! Stop!”  
“NOT UNTIL I FIND MY BOX! MY TRUE LOVEEEEEEEE!” Jeff screamed, launching himself at the foyer closet.  
It opened to reveal the box. HIS box, sitting there in the back of the closet. But before Jeff could reach it, Steve grabbed his wrist with a tight grip. “Stop, I said,” he said in a low voice.  
“N-No! I want my box!” Jeff struggled against Steve’s grip, but he eventually gave up and went limp, biting his lip to hold back tears. “Um...I just want my box, sir. I’m sure you can understand that.”

Steve didn’t speak for a moment, until simply dropping Jeff’s arm and sighing. “I don’t really understand, but okay…”  
Jeff scrambled to a sitting position and watched as Steve slowly brought his box over to him. As he was walking, he noticed Steve’s outfit. A blue, more light blue, shirt, with blue pants. How incredible. What amazing style sense. Style unlike anything he’d ever seen. And, oh, his eyes. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Oh, wow - Steve was holding eye contact with him. His eyes were a bluish-purple, so pretty that they melted together into a symphony of color and waves...  
NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT GAY THOUGHTS, jeff thought.  
“Here’s your...box.” Steve cleared his throat. 

"Thank you…” he reached out and touched the box. He smiled widely and stood up. “Thank you, Steve.” He was so excited for this reunion with his box.  
“H-H-H-How did you know my name?” Steve started to back away slowly before hitting the wall. (jeff lowkey found that hot)  
Jeff laughed. “I’m not going to hurt you.” Well, not now, as he’s kinda cute, he thought.  
Jeff stopped short at his own thoughts. No. He refused to be having MORE gay thoughts of his archenemy and rival lover. No. No. No. No. He was NOT GAY. JEFF BEZOS IS NOT GAY.  
Steve seemed to calm down and stood up. “What’s your name?”  
“Jeff Bezos.” Jeff thought he was hallucinating, but he thought he saw the faint print of a blush on Steve’s face.  
“Well, time to go home.” Jeff, once again, vanished in a flash of light.  
He appeared once again in his mansion. Jeff ran to his office, where he sat down with his box.

He clutched the box, tightly. “Oh, I’ll never leave you again…Box, I want to know more about you,” he said, holding the box tenderly.  
The box didn’t answer, but Jeff began spilling his life story. He didn’t care if the box was really listening or not, but his heart was fluttering every moment he sat there, next to his true love, the box. “And there you have it. My life story. What about yours?”

He stared at the box. It didn’t answer as it is multiple pieces of cardboard with no talking ability, and Jeff laughed and blushed. “I’m being too sudden, aren’t I? I’m sorry.”  
The box, once again, did not reply. Jeff felt his heart sinking. “Box…do you not want to talk to me? Did I do something wrong?” He fell to his knees. “Is this...a one-sided love?”  
The box did not answer.

“Box!” He cried out. “Is this a one-sided love? IS MY LOVE UNREQUITED? Well? Is it?”  
The box did not answer.  
Jeff sobbed and for the third time that day, fell to his knees. Jeff stroked the box with his finger. Tears landed on the cardboard and tape of the box. “Box...I can’t...believe...you don’t love me!...”  
Jeff sobbed, clutching the box tightly.

He suddenly remembered Steve, but he pushed the memory out of his head. “No, no, now is not the time to be thinking about that hot, sexy...” Jeff yelled in horror. His thoughts were getting even gayer!  
He stood up, breathing labored. “Steve…can help me though. He can give me advice.” He stood up, still sobbing, snot dripping out of his nose. “To….Minecraft!” He vanished once again.

He wasted no time in getting to Steve. Steve opened his door, looking surprised. “Jeff? It’s been 20 minutes. Are you lost?”  
“MY BOX DOESN’T LOVE ME,” Jeff wailed, holding out his love. His heart felt like it was breaking. “The box was my...first love!!!...”  
Steve swallowed. “You love the box?”  
Jeff looked up slightly, still clutching his box. “Y-Yes…” At least, he was pretty sure he did.  
Steve disappeared into this house. Jeff wiped his eyes and looked up. “Steve? Where did you…”

Steve returned, holding a chainsaw. Jeff was confused for a moment, before he realized, and screamed, “No! Don’t you dare!”  
Steve jumped out and slashed the box in half with his chainsaw, then kicked it away from Jeff and cut it into many more pieces as Jeff cried and sobbed in the background. “Box! Box! No!”  
Steve laughed maniacally. Jeff whimpered and stood up. “No! Don’t do it, Steve!” He panicked, thinking of what to do, when suddenly he realized. “Back to wherever my house is!” Jeff screamed, vanishing in light just as Steve started approaching him. He appeared back in his office, panting. “What...just...happened?”  
“I killed your box.”

Jeff trembled at the voice. He turned to see: Minecraft Steve. “How did you get here? To MY world?” He screamed, running towards the door. Steve used hyperspeed to get to the door and lock it before Jeff could leave, trapping him in his office. “No!” Jeff cried out, as Steve got closer to him. “Noooo!” Steve came up to him and cupped his chin. “Calm down. I know we’ve only known each other for max 45 minutes but I’m in serious love with you. I will murder anyone who will take you from me, Jeff. You are mine, and only mine.”  
Jeff’s heart fluttered. Steve loved...him? He didn’t want to kill him?  
“That’s kinda hot,” Jeff said hoarsely.  
“Epic. Glad to hear that.”

“DON'T SAY EPIC, IT’S RUINING THE MOOD!” Jeff screamed. Suddenly, they both heard the sound of multiple footsteps heading down the hall. Steve immediately walked in front of Jeff and used his random super strength to block the door by Jeff’s office table.

But even then, Steve couldn’t resist the hordes of people that rushed into the room after he fell backward. “Jeff!” He cried out, before someone grabbed his wrists and tied handcuffs around them.  
“NO!” Jeff cried, reaching out for Steve’s hand as he was dragged back. “Who is grabbing him? Where are you taking him?”  
The UPS employee started doing the default dance and ripped off his disguise. "caught in 4k for falling in love with a fucking box, I'm fortnite Tyler ninja Blevins"

The person holding Steve, who happened to be The Rock, glared at Jeff. “Fuck Minecraft Steve, me and my homies use custom skins.”  
Jeff felt anger fill his body from head to toe. His heart was being fueled by burning rage. “HOW DARE YOU INSULT STEVE...MY TRUE...MY TRUE LOVE?”

Jeff’s eyes went dark, and he bit his lip until it bled. Jeff suddenly began transforming. Ears sprouted from the top of his head and wings appeared from his back. “I have shifted into my final form! I am a vampire wolf demon of darkness!” Jeff whispered a spell and his fingers morphed into a machine gun. He shot The Rock and the others in the room, and they dropped dead on the ground. He picked Steve up and crashed through the roof, flying up into the sky, so high that he was pretty much in space.

He used his vampire wolf demon of darkness powers to cause a solar eclipse and laughed as the screams of people erupted from every corner of the world.“People of earth! All humans are evil! A human wanted to kill my true love, and for that, you must all die!”

Jeff Bezos shot lasers from his eyes and burned the entire world to a crisp. Screams came from everywhere and Jeff morphed into a TNT cannon, shooting TNT everywhere with his demon powers until the whole world exploded. He flew a little farther up in space and sighed happily, looking at the burning and breaking earth. “Nice. I have done it. My mission has been fulfilled.”  
Minecraft Steve suddenly grabbed his chin again and they had a make out session in space as humanity went extinct.  
Then, Jeff teleported them both back to Minecraft, and they lived there forever.

The end of the world was jeff bezos


End file.
